Clearing the Hurdles: Positive Discontent

In my last post, I shared my final roadblock: Negative Discontent. Today, I'm going to share about one tool that can be used to surmount these obstacles. I am labeling this tool "Positive Discontent."

The other day, I explained this form of discontent using the example of wanting a better job and taking steps toward getting that job rather than complaining all the time. While some of the changes in my life have been fueled simply by a desire for something better, there are other changes - many of which are still in the process of being made - that are fueled by something bigger than me. My motivation comes from the prodding of the Holy Spirit. If it weren't for His direction, there are things I never would have done or will do. I'd like to share some examples.

Example #1: Going to Bible college. Even though I waited a year after I graduated high school, my spiritual state had not changed in that time. I was just as apathetic about God's will as I had been since Junior High. So going off to Bible school where I knew I was going to be in a very "Christian" environment was not exactly at the top of my Bucket List. But despite the fact I wasn't nurturing a relationship with Him, when I cried out to God for a hint as to His will on the matter, He made it very clear that Bible College was what He wanted for me. So off I went to Wyoming and the rest is history but it's not a choice I would have made on my own.

Example #2: Switching churches. I grew up in a tiny country church where everyone was like family and everyone loved me. They supported me in so many ways when I went off to college and I'm thoroughly convinced that if it weren't for their prayers, I wouldn't have survived even half of the stuff that happened in my three years there. After I counselled at camp this summer, I came home knowing I would be home for a while. I started going back to my home church, but it wasn't the same and it didn't feel right. This created a lot of discontent in me so I decided to try out my other option for a church: Going with my grandparents to their rather large, city-based church. I found that I could connect better with God there, so I chose to switch churches. Now, this isn't a perfect example of Positive Discontent, because I would have made the switch anyways, regardless of what God thought (not exactly excited to admit that, but I'm all about being honest and I figured you should know that). But it is a fairly decent example because I did seek God's desire on the matter and I made sure my heart was right as I made the switch. And it was an amazing choice because I've been able to plug in with a group of people my age and start making spiritual connections like I had when I was at school.

Example #3: Testing the waters of ministry. This is a change that is still in the works, though I have done ministry in the past and enjoyed it. But the specific form of ministry I feel God prodding me to try is inner city children's ministry. Throughout all my negative discontent this summer and fall, I knew that the basic reason was because I was aware of want God wanted me to do but very much unwilling to do it. This is the best example I have of Positive Discontent because I am slowly reaching my toes to the edge of those waters, but only because I know it's something God wants and I know that as long I put it off, I won't be content with where I am in life.

Now I challenge you to consider your life. Is there some change you want you to make for the better because you don't like where you are? Just take a baby step in that direction. Want a better job? Research the qualifications you'll need. Want to go on a cruise? Start saving today, remembering that every little bit counts. Want to lose weight? "Eat less, move more." You can change the things you don't like about your life simply by taking steps in that direction.

Now look at your heart. Maybe you've been feeling God tugging you a certain direction. No matter what you do, you won't be able to escape that tug. Sure, you may learn to ignore it, but you will be miserable. Instead, take a step towards what He wants, praying all the time for His direction. See what He does.

I'm aware that I make this all sound so easy; like any goal can be reached in three simple steps. But it's not easy at all. There will be times our resolve won't be enough and as soon as we've taken one step forward, we'll take three steps back. We will face fear and doubts and we'll want to just run back to our comfort zone where we're safe. But we can't! We must keep going, focusing on why we want to change what we're working to change, relying on God's strength to help us. So think on that Positive Discontent and let God use it to show you what needs to change. Then take the first step.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
- Chinese Proverb

Roadblock: Negative Discontent

Everyone knows what it's like not to be where you want to be. Maybe your job isn't your dream job. Or perhaps the number on the scale isn't as low as you'd like it to be. Or maybe you don't have the funds for that special something you've been dying to do for years. Many people would argue that discontent is wanting what you don't have. I would say there's two different forms of discontent, a negative form and a positive form. I'm going to write about one today and the other later this week. The first is when you focus on your desire for what you don't have. For instance, say you'd rather have a different job and all you think about all the time is how awful your current job is and how much better a different job would be. That would be a picture of negative discontent. But say you want a different job and instead of complaining and focusing on how bad you have it, you allow that desire to fuel your actions and you start taking steps towards getting a better job (job searching, further training, etc.). That is what I would call "positive discontent." Today, I want to honestly share about the affects Negative Discontent have had in my life lately as a challenge to all of us as we find ourselves in a place we didn't plan to be.

Over the months since I graduated college, I have been overwhelmed by the negative discontent I've allowed to take root in my heart. I have so often focused on what I want that I don't have: A "significant other," a great job, lots of money, a license, a car and the list could go on and on and on. Where my focus is really does affect my life. It has made me angry - at myself and others. It's been the motivation for my personal Pity Parties (sorry you weren't invited - you were probably getting married or buying nice stuff). Negative discontent has done its best to make me a selfish, self-centered, self-serving human being. 

And that's what this kind of discontent does. You begin to think of no one else but Number One and how best to take care of that person. Or maybe you begin to think of no one else but Number One and how much of failure they are. It's because they didn't do this and this and this that they aren't where you want them to be. Or you think of Number One and how much they aren't like all the rest when they really should be. They should look like Them, dress like Them, please Them. And yet, Number One doesn't. Number One just sits there and doesn't do anything but grumble and complain about how life isn't what it should be. This is how I have felt a lot, especially over the last two months. I convinced myself that everyone around me is happier than I am and they have it better off and I began to focus on what I must have done to deserve where I am. 

How do you prevent this discontent? Or if you wake up one day and realize it's taken control of your life, how do you break free? The answer to both of these is simply stated, yet oh so difficult to put into action: Submitting to the control of the Holy Spirit.

First, let's lay some ground rules about submission, because I know people tend to hate that word. Really, it's not a bad thing. To submit is to willingly place yourself under the authority of another. What we're going to talk about today is choosing to walk the way God directs us through His Word and handling life situations by looking for His desire. That's what I mean when I talk about submission.

Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about how this can prevent discontent. If we choose to place our lives under the control of the Holy Spirit, we will soon realize that where we are might just be where God wants us at this time in our lives. Remember Jeremiah 29:11? God promises that He has a plan for His people, and where we are may be part of that plan. Maybe He has things to teach us that we wouldn't learn if we had everything we wanted. Recognizing this fact is the most effective prevention of discontent. 

But we don't always catch the discontent when it first begins. Often, it's not until life outside of myself is affected that I notice the dung heap that is Discontent. It begins to permeate everything you say and do, how you treat others, how you spend your time, what you focus on. I just tend to ignore the inner turmoil until it's called out by something or someone outside of myself; then I begin to pay attention. But it's always so hard to come back from that point because you've gotten used to all those emotions and thoughts and desires. How do you turn back from that? By choosing contentment. "Fake it til you feel it" is something my mom likes to say and I find that it's very applicable to this situation. You start telling yourself - and I often tell God, too, even though He knows it's not completely true - that you like where you are, what you do and what you have. You tell yourself you don't need anything else. This is making the choice to be content. Stick it out and you will start to feel it. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But those emotions will come when you suddenly see that you really don't need anything but what you have and even most of what you have is just a blessing God has seen fit to give you. Then, you realize that God's got a plan and He can use where you are; He wants to use where you are.

Negative Discontent is often a major roadblock in the Journey of Life. How do we handle it? Do we take the right turns to avoid it so as to continue on the path God's laid for us? Or do we just sit there, blaring our horn to let everyone know we don't like where we are? Or do we accept that we have all we need, let off the horn and turn around? How will we - how will you - react to Discontent today?