Imagine this: You and I are sitting at a cozy little cafe, enjoying good conversation and amazing coffee and we get around to talking about various struggles that are inherent to the Believer's life. You look at me and you ask me how I handle it personally but before I can answer you add, "Be honest." Well that's painful. But I decide to be honest. I look you in the eyes - I may even get a little teary - and this is my response: These days, I don't feel like I "handle" anything. These days, I feel like I allow my changing emotions to affect my responses to my circumstances. When I face disappointment I respond by escaping into whatever fancies me. It may be binge-watching TV shows or eating whatever I feel like; giving in to a choice sin to garner some temporary pleasure. I would tell you that there are days that the reality of my unstable walk with God makes me feel gross and sick inside. "Why," you ask. Because deep down I enjoy my sin and I hate that I enjoy it. Some days I hate it less. I kinda shrug because what are you gonna do? Other days I hate it a lot. It's these days that make me feel like a failure. I've been feeling like a failure a lot lately.
I look back at my time in college and I miss the vibrant relationship I had with my Creator. I miss getting up early to spend time with Him and devoting hours on Saturday morning to reading my Bible. I miss Him being a part of every area in my life. I miss living in a consistently godly atmosphere. I compare myself to then and I feel lousy because I don't take the time I should to invest in my relationship with Him. I don't but I want to, but I still don't. Why don't I? This, my dear friend, is what is lovingly referred to as "The Struggle."
Paul talks about this in Romans 7. He writes, "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing" (vs. 19). This chapter details the struggle we Christians have with our sin nature. You see, when we accept Christ we are given a new nature, the Holy Spirit. But this new nature does not do away with the old because we still have the old nature in us. Instead, this new nature gives us options for how we live our life. We can choose to submit to the Spirit and live a life under His control or we can choose to fulfill the desires of the flesh. Both have consequences, the first bringing a full life and the latter bringing a stagnant life.
What do I want? You bet I want a full, joyous, content life.
What do I choose? A life lived as a slave to sin. Because for some reason my brain and my heart decide that it's "more fun" to give into the old nature.
I'm being honest. But today I also want to be hopeful. I'm tired of feeling defeated. And today I'm reminded of some awesome Scriptures.
I John 1:9. If I confess my sin, my Creator is faithful and just to forgive my sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
II Peter 1:3. My Creator's divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness through my knowledge of Him who called me by His own glory and goodness.
Galatians 5:1. It is for freedom that I have been set free. I should stand firm, then, and not let myself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Romans 8:13. For if I live according to the sinful nature, I will die; but if by the Spirit I put to death the misdeeds of the body, I will live.
Simple, powerful and beautiful truths from God's Word. I challenge myself to really believe these and act on them. And I challenge you. Let's choose Life over Death, God over Sin. Let's take time to spend with Him every day. I'm up for it.
I only have one question: How do you handle The Struggle? Be honest.
