"It's not my fault!" How often do we find ourselves saying or even thinking these words? A few weeks ago I would've told you that I never say that but I've since realized that I do say it. A lot. To my mother. Her response? "I know - nothing is ever your fault." Insert mutual eye-roll here.
Not one on of us likes to be blamed, even when we are responsible; we'd rather pass it off. What's worse is that not only do we declare ourselves innocent but we attempt to explain why we're not guilty. We can always find an excuse for why nothing is ever our fault.
Just the other day, my boss commented that there was product in the stockroom that was my responsibility to take care of. Because the tone he used made it sound to me like I should have known that, I got defensive and responded with, "Oh. No one told me." I think it would have been better to just take care of it without comment because I'm not responsible for his attitude, only my own.
On the other hand...I've receivedthat! When my boss acknowledges a job well-done, I accept the commendation with pleasure. Why? Because I deserve it, of course.
compliments from my bosses for doing well at various tasks. Any reward for doing a good job? I'll take a second serving of
Why do I believe I deserve praise but not reproof? We're so quick to take responsibility for the good and even quicker to deny responsibility for the bad. It's a terribly typical attitude and I know I'm not the only personal to struggle with it.
What to do? What to do?
How do we overcome the urge to make excuses for ourselves?
Well, it's easier when you really are to blame. Just own it. Acknowledge that you did something wrong or didn't do something right, apologize and make the necessary change.
But when you're not to blame...Or feel you're not to blame...Or you're on the defense because somebody's tone or body language offended you...What about then? That's super hard for me, but I've created a rather useful phrase that I try to remember in such situations: You don't need to point out that it's not your fault.
Here's the thing folks. You're gonna mess up, I'm gonna mess up, we're all gonna mess up. It's part of being human. It's also for human-like to blame others for things they didn't do, so we're going to get blamed for things that aren't our fault. All we can do is, no matter the situation, check our attitude.
Take pleasure in a "Good job" comment from your boss.
And take responsibility for your "Coulda done better" mistakes.
You deserve it.
