Roadblock: Fear

It grips you tightly with icy fingers, seeming to drain the warmth from the inside of your body and causing voluntary movement to be impossible. It clenches your throat and chest, making it difficult to breathe. Whether it's waking up from a nightmare, hearing an unusual noise outside your window after dark, or watching a scary movie, we know this feeling that is fear. Every single one of us has been scared of something at some time in our lives. We can easily list things that are our "Greatest Fears" and they influence our lives to some extent. Perhaps they keep us awake at night, or cause us to choose not to watch those thrillers. Or maybe they just keep us out of the bathroom and so safely away from the beloved, little eight-legged creature in the tub. Whatever the fear, it tends to be a big part of how we live our life.

What about spiritual fears? The fear of relinquishing control of our lives to an invisible God. Or the fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. The fear of failing God and those around us who think we're doing great in our walk. Or even the fear of succeeding at something you weren't sure about and thus altering your life forever. I have possessed all of these fears at the same time. Correction: I still possess all these fears. And up until a couple of weeks ago, I let them dictate my life to an extreme.

But I promise you that these fears are not pathological, meaning I do have good reasons for them. Let me explain. Control? I like to have at least one of my hands on the steering wheel. I mean, I have to make sure God knows when to turn! And stepping out of my comfort zone? That's not a very attractive action. I like knowing my boundaries and knowing what's coming and feeling safe and secure. Then there's failure...I need to measure up to my own standards, even in the eyes of my Creator. To let myself fail even one self-expectation is to incur the disappointment and anger of those around me, including God. Success...That one is a little more difficult to find a realistic basis...Oh, I got it! Because if I discover I'm actually good at something that, say, glorifies God and encourages those around me, I would feel obligated to follow through on it.

Alright, so I'm sure you picked up my sarcasm, but in honesty, those are the exact reasons for these fears I have. I like to choose what to do with my life, where it's going to go, and what's going to happen. I like to be in charge because then I have nothing to fear. Or so it would seem. You see, living in fear isn't really living. It's allowing your shortcomings and your circumstances to dictate what you do with your life, how you interact with people, how you interact with God. To be afraid is to not trust. This is something I'm learning and I have wanted to share with you.

I'm into opposites, alright? Somehow, if I'm trying to decided how to change something, it helps for me to realize what the opposite is of whatever I'm doing wrong. In this case, after a lot of prayer and introspection, I realized that the only thing to counter my fear is to trust God. I agree that this is much easier said than done. To help us absorb this, I have a quote I'd like to share from Chuck Swindoll's book, Living the Proverbs. In his discussion on Proverbs 3:5-6, he writes,

"Trust refers to mentally and emotionally throwing oneself facedown on the ground - casting all hopes for the present and the future upon another, finding provision and security there...The term heart has little to do with the blood-pumping organ in your chest. The word is instead used throughout the Old Testament to refer to our inner self, that part of us that constitutes the seat of our intellect, emotion, and will: our conscience and our personality. So what is the Lord saying? He is saying we are to cast ourselves upon our Savior-God in complete trust, not holding back in any area of our mind or will or feeling." (p.41-43)

That hit me where it hurt when I read it. But it also encouraged me. God used these words to articulate what it means to trust Him. It means to be willing to put every particle of myself in His hands, recognizing that He is all-powerful but also all-loving; that He has my best interests at heart, just like Jeremiah 29:11 says:

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (The Message)

We can trust God because He knows what He's doing. And we should trust Him because what He wants for us is the best we could ever hope for. What we want won't be able to hold a candle to the Journey God has planned for us.

 

So my challenge is not only for those who are reading this, but for the girl writing it as well: Sit back, relax. Take your hand off the wheel, be willing for God to take you places you're not sure of. He can show you so much about yourself and about life and what it means to truly live if your'e just willing to deny your fear and trust Him.

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, andacknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amplified)

Roadblock: Bitterness

Most of us know what it's like to be on our way somewhere and have some reckless driver do something foolish that affects us. Maybe he ran a red light, putting you and himself in danger. Or maybe he cut you off, which might also end up painfully. Or maybe, just maybe, he only did something that just annoyed you a little bit but didn't really hurt you, like honking his horn at you when you hesitated at a green light. We've probably all experienced these things - whether from the driver seat or passenger seat. I want you to focus on those emotions for a second (I'm fairly sure you can recall them easily). There's probably some frustration or even a little bit of anger? Yeah, those emotions.Just as there are moments on the literal road when these occur, there's times during our Journey of life when we experience similar feelings. 

Lately, some of the "cut-offs" and "annoying honks" I've experienced in my personal Journey have been going through my head. I feel as if, every week, there's something new. And my tendency is to hang on to these, allowing the second-long offenses to fester inside until they grow to a big, ugly roadblock called Bitterness, rather than just letting go and moving on. It's not as if this Bitterness doesn't have warning signs, 'cause it does. "Make a U-turn to mercy" or "Danger: Roadblock ahead. Forgive or continue at your own risk." Those pop up, but what do I do? Ignore them. Because, honestly, it's so much easier to keep going down that road than turn around and...forgive? No way!

But God doesn't call us to the Path of Bitterness. In fact, He commands us to make a turn and change our route. Paul tells us very clearly in Ephesians 4 to "[forgive] each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (v. 29). Isn't much clearer than that, is it? I've always read this verse and been, like, "Whatever. I don't struggle with bitterness," knowing full well I did. Today, however, something changed. I was sitting there reading for my devotions today (which, "coincidentally," concerned pity and mercy...more on that in a moment) and I was instructed to read several passages that talked about the nature of God's forgiveness. It hit me that His forgiveness is total and complete. He doesn't hang on to anything; He lets go. Most of the time, passages like Psalm 51 and 103 bring comfort to my heart because they're awesome reminders of God mercy and forgiveness. But today, they stung because God had already been showing me that I was harboring some bitterness. I could feel Him calling me to let go, telling me, "I am the one who sets the standard for forgiveness. I paved the way by forgiving you of everything you've ever done. I did this so that you would be able to see how much you should and can forgive those who hurt you." I was extremely humbled.

So can I encourage you today to seek your heart, looking for the warning sings en route to Roadblock Bitterness? If you see them, seek God's strength and help to make a u-turn right now and choose forgiveness. Or perhaps you know fully well that you've hit that roadblock and you can't find a way around. I'll tell you right now that the only way to continue your Journey successfully is to seek God's help for forgiveness. I'll share with you what my personal prayer is: "God, give me a forgiving and merciful spirit." That's all. I can guarantee that if you are truly willing to change, a simple prayer like this (prayed multiple times a day - anytime you feel the bitterness taking hold) coupled with allowing His Word on the matter to impact you, you will see results. It's hard and very annoying because you will WANT to be angry, but its' so good.

I mentioned that my devotion today was about pity and mercy. I bring this up, because the author made some great points that helped me develop this illustration regarding pity and mercy. Pity is putting yourself in the other person's shoes and considering how that person feels and how they would wish to be treated. I know this is a very difficult task, but to help me I thought about how I would want to be treated if I hurt someone like they hurt me. This is often humbling because I would want forgiveness and a second - or a thousandth - chance. Now mercy is the action you take towards that person based on the discoveries you made through pity. It's like a cause and effect - pity causes the effect of mercy.

So, today, let us be on the lookout for the warnings of the Roadblock of Bitterness and be proactive in fighting it through prayer and the strength of God's Word and God Himself.

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 

He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; 

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."

Psalm 103:8-10