Hi everyone! I am alive, I promise. But I'm composing this post to let you in on something and to make a shameless request. Here goes...
First off, I won't be posting as frequently as I should like over the next several weeks because I'm currently house-sitting for a family friend. I'm planning to use this time of much-needed solitude for better purposes than internet. What could be better? Working on long-standing projects, for one. But mainly, to grow closer to my Creator and to seek His heart regarding life's next steps.
This brings me to my shameless request. It's shameless because I know that a lot of my readers are my brothers and sisters in Christ. That being so, I would ask for your prayers for me during this time. Pray that God would become more real and wonderful to me than He has in a long time. Pray that my heart would be open to letting Him in and letting Him change the things that need to be changed. And especially pray that I would be yielded to His plan and that He might make something clear to me, even if that something is that I would be more trusting of His sovereignty and provision.
Would you do that for me? I would really appreciate it!
I will definitely keep you posted if not during these weeks, than after :)
Love and prayers!
I am a sinner. I commit the same sins every day. And because I do this, I feel so much shame. I feel dirty and guilty. And because I feel ashamed and guilty and dirty I feel I am unreachable, unforgivable. And this? This is all pride.
When I sin, to believe I am unforgivable is to say the Christ's painful sacrifice on the Cross was not good enough. As if there is something I would do that Christ's blood didn't quite wipe out. And this is pride. It's pride because it places my sin above Christ's work of redemption. And pride? Pride is a sin. Thus the cycle begins anew.
However, there is something that can break this cycle. Something so awe-inspiring and beautiful and wonderful. That something is grace. But not just any grace - God's grace. The grace that says, "While you were still dirty and guilty, I died for you. Because I love you. It has nothing to do with what you did or could ever do. It has everything to do with what I was capable of."
But why? Why should I - a repetitive sinner - be the recipient of such amazing grace? That's just the thing. There is no reason. At least no reasonable reason. There is only this: Christ's great love. It is this love that fuels His unmerited favor towards us. See that word, "Unmerited?" It means that there is nothing I can do to earn it. Which means there is also nothing I can do to lose it.
This grace is truly mind-blowing. I don't understand it. And for so long that has been so hard for me. Because if I could see no reason that this grace was given to me, then it must not have been given. And I must be completely helpless and hopeless.
But one day, on a cold walk, a ray of sun pierced the painful darkness surrounding my heart. I became blissfully aware that I do not deserve God's grace. But still He has given it to me. And I don't understand. And why should I? If I understood why God does what He does - why He loves me - He would be too small. He wouldn't be God.
"Although my memory is fading, I remember two things quite clearly: I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior." - John Newton, in the film Amazing Grace
