Why Do We Have to be Strong?

Have you ever noticed that the culture we live in insists that individuals have it all together, that they have to be able to do anything and handle everything in life? Have you ever found yourself giving in to that mentality? I'm going to be completely honest and tell you that I have and I still do. More often than not, I feel the need to prove to everyone around me that I have everything under control. And when life gets rocky, I make sure no one knows how badly I'm affected. If you've seen the movie "Frozen," it's the whole "conceal, don't feel, don't let them know" concept. And while I've known this isn't a healthy way to live, I never realized just how destructive it truly is. Not until today.

This morning during my God-time (if I haven't mentioned it before, that's my term for daily devotions, quiet time, what have you) I read 2 Corinthians 11:1-12:10. Nothing too out-of-the-ordinary. Just chillaxing on my chouch (interpretations..."Chillaxing:" Cooler than chilling, more restful than relaxing; "Chouch:" Bigger than a chair, smaller than a loveseat/couch) with the beautiful spring air wafting through my open window. I knew I was going to enjoy this passage because I always have. I mean, come on, in chapter eleven you get to see all the deadly events Paul has survived in his life and then you get blasted with the power of God's grace in chapter twelve and you can walk away feeling pretty confident in your Creator (which is a completely proper and acceptable response, mind you). So there I was, expecting a confirmation of the power of God when BOOM! I was hit with something totally awesome and a little bit life-changing. Allow me to show you...

In verse thirty of chapter eleven, Paul writes, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weaknesses." I share this verse first, because I want to pin down a couple of definitions so that I don't muddle up my main point. 

Definition number one: Boast. This means "to glory in, with or without reason."

Definition number two: Weakness. This refers to a "want of strength" either "of the body" or "of the soul." Basically, an inability to produce results.
So Paul's saying if he's going to glory in anything, it's going to be the fact that he literally has no strength of his own. Make sense? Good. Now on to the big stuff.

In verses six through eight of chapter twelve, Paul talks about the thorn in his flesh that was given him to keep him from becoming conceited. That in itself is a pretty crazy side-street worth traveling. God allowed this "thorn" to remain where it was so Paul would be forced to rely on God's strength rather than his own. God works in painful ways sometimes, but always for our good, yes? Moving on, we come to the passage that just really blew me out of the water (actually it was all of this combined, but I'll tie it up later on). Here it is, verses 9-11:

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (NIV; emphasis mine)

Dude! Paul never tried to gloss over his weaknesses. He prayed for God to take it away and when God didn't, he submitted himself to the working of God's powerful grace in his life. This was extremely challenging and encouraging for me all at the same time.

You see, the last couple of weeks I've become painfully aware of a sudden drive within to control everything - well, concerning myself. Who I am, what I do - that I possibly can. Where did this come from, why do I have this need? I don't know. I mean, I've always been a little bit of a control freak, but never on this scale. It felt - feels - a little like in "Cinderalla" when the mouse, poor little Gus, is trying to carry all the corn he possibly can. His arms are full to capacity and yet, he sees one more piece lying on the ground and decides to try to pick it up. The corn goes everywhere. That's kinda how it feels when I'm trying to get everything under control. I think I can pin down just one more thing and then something that was going fine just goes kapoot and I'm left with a big mess. 

After this happened time and again, I finally just got so frustrated and I cried. A lot. The smallest "failure" and I would bawl for ten minutes. It was pretty awful. And then I finally, after about two weeks of nothing, decided to get back into the swing of regular God-time. That was last Saturday. Today I read these passages and it just blew me away. 

Over the last couple of years, I've developed the nasty habit of trying to handle everything on my own. I don't like asking for help for even a simple task that would be easier with two people. I prefer to just figure it out myself, even if it means messing up. When it comes to "big" things in life, I especially just like to figure it out myself before talking to anybody about it. And when it comes to my daily weaknesses, the areas of my life in which I fail, the things I know I can't change on my own...Those I'd rather not ever talk about. To anyone. Including my Creator. But after reading what Paul says, I realize that it's not a sin to fail. It's normal to make mistakes, it's normal for there to be areas of struggle. The "mistake" is thinking we have to be strong, that we can handle all of it on our own.

I don't know what you struggle with, what your "weaknesses" are. But I know mine painfully well. I know that it's difficult for me to be single when I want to be married. I know it's frustrating for me to fail when I expect so much more of myself. I know that when I'm emotional, I like to eat. And I've always allowed these things to control my life and define who I am. And I've always tried my best to keep them under wraps. Maybe you've let something control and define you. Maybe it's a recurring temptation. Maybe it's a habit. And maybe you've been trying desperately to cover it up, to pretend it's not there. Because if you don't let it show, no one will know you feel out of your depth. 

Can I challenge all of us to be willing to be honest about our weaknesses and our struggles? I had a really good friend this past week tell me that we have to be honest with each other, because if we're not, we wouldn't know how to pray for or encourage one another. Neither I nor my friend are saying you need to get up in front of your church and declare that you have an issue. What we're saying is find a trusted, godly friend who can point you to Scripture and who's willing to pray with and for you. Who's willing to keep you accountable. That's definitely a scary idea, I know, but it is so worth it. 

If you're not quite ready for that, at least be honest with yourself before God. Ask Him to help you identify and admit your areas of weakness. Ask Him for His grace to be enough and to work powerfully in your life. Then ask Him for the courage to open up to someone He's placed in your life. They have weaknesses, too, you know; we all do. Let us encourage one another, eh?

Here's the thing, what all of this boils down to. Being open and honest about our weaknesses makes a way for God's grace and power to shine through in our life. It provides an opportunity for us to say, "I can't handle this, but I have a God who can. He's the source of my strength, because I am only weak on my own."

I want to leave you with a quote from a commentary on this passage:

"It is understandable that Paul would consider this thorn a hindrance to wider or more effective ministry and that he would repeatedly petition God for its removal. But he learned from this experience the lesson that pervades this letter: divine power is best displayed against the backdrop of human weaknesses so that God alone is praised. Rather than removing the problem, God gave him grace in it. This grace is sufficient." (The Bible Knowledge Commentary: New Testament)