God's Love in the Trials

"I know Your plan is perfect. I know Your way is best. But sometimes it's hard to see."
Can you relate?

 I found myself praying those words this morning as I opened up to God about the trials I'm facing. This week has been a long and hard week, but I'm starting to see more clearly than I have in several months. You see, I don't have a job. Not because I don't want one, but because it hasn't "worked out" yet. I've applied - even interviewed - but time after time, nothing happened. That's my greatest trial. Then there's general discontent with my life: I'm unmarried (thus not a mommy), I'm not as successful as other people my age, I still live at home, I don't have one of those "really important" degrees. These are my trials, my hard stuff, my Lumpy Mess of Unending Changelessness.

And for months I have been overwhelmed, feeling as if I'd be stuck here forever. But this week, I read something that started the chipping away of that Lumpy Mess. I was reading the bit in Romans about how nothing can separate us from the love of God and I came across this verse:

"None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us." (8:37; MSG; emphasis mine)

Wow. So simple yet so powerful. Absolutely nothing and no one can faze - disturb or daunt - us. At least they shouldn't be able to.

As fantastic of a truth as this is, it's much easier to read it on a paper than to live it out. It wasn't two days after I read this that I cried myself to sleep because I couldn't see an end to the Changlessness. It's so hard to trust that what is going on doesn't surprise God and may, in fact, be part of His plan. Even though I know in my head that He's got this. Romans 9 makes that so clear.

"What God did in this case [His plan concerning Jacob and Esau] made it perfectly clear that His purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don't do, but a sure thing determined by His decision, flowing steadily from His initiative." (9:11b-12a; MSG)

He knows what's going to happen, He knows what He's going to use to get my life to a certain point. My job is to trust Him, even when I can't see.

Still, knowing He has a plan - even those great days when I trust Him - doesn't take away the painful fear of the unknown. On their album Made, Hawk Nelson has a song called "Through the Fire" and the chorus goes as follows:

Why does it hurt if You love me? Why does it hurt if You're all I need? Why does it hurt if Your light's alive inside of me? Then why can't, why can't I just believe You mean good for me?

I'm beginning to think it's normal for Believers to struggle with trusting that God's got our best interests at heart. It's even normal to be afraid to trust Him. Fear's going to be there because we are only human. However, our fear should not determine our bottom line. Instead, we should take all the fear and doubt and uncertainty and run straight into God's arms with it.

How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise, for He has been good to me. (Psalm 13; NIV; emphasis mine)

Pour out your heart to Him. Tell Him every thought, every fear, every desire - no matter how ugly - and then choose to trust Him. Choose to trust that He knows what He's doing. 

I don't know what your trials are. I don't know if you have job you hate. I don't know if your marriage is rocky or your kids are making heartbreaking choices. I don't know if you're worn out from trying to keep up with the Joneses or if you're out-growing your home. I don't know where you are in life. But there is one thing I do know: God loves you. And His love can carry you through the hardest of trials.

How have you seen God work through your trials? How do you see Him working now? What are some practical steps you've taken to trust Him? Comment below!