When I sin, to believe I am unforgivable is to say the Christ's painful sacrifice on the Cross was not good enough. As if there is something I would do that Christ's blood didn't quite wipe out. And this is pride. It's pride because it places my sin above Christ's work of redemption. And pride? Pride is a sin. Thus the cycle begins anew.
However, there is something that can break this cycle. Something so awe-inspiring and beautiful and wonderful. That something is grace. But not just any grace - God's grace. The grace that says, "While you were still dirty and guilty, I died for you. Because I love you. It has nothing to do with what you did or could ever do. It has everything to do with what I was capable of." But why? Why should I - a repetitive sinner - be the recipient of such amazing grace? That's just the thing. There is no reason. At least no reasonable reason. There is only this: Christ's great love. It is this love that fuels His unmerited favor towards us. See that word, "Unmerited?" It means that there is nothing I can do to earn it. Which means there is also nothing I can do to lose it.
This grace is truly mind-blowing. I don't understand it. And for so long that has been so hard for me. Because if I could see no reason that this grace was given to me, then it must not have been given. And I must be completely helpless and hopeless.
But one day, on a cold walk, a ray of sun pierced the painful darkness surrounding my heart. I became blissfully aware that I do not deserve God's grace. But still He has given it to me. And I don't understand. And why should I? If I understood why God does what He does - why He loves me - He would be too small. He wouldn't be God.
"Although my memory is fading, I remember two things quite clearly: I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior." - John Newton, in the film Amazing Grace
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